Monday, March 3, 2014

Stuff on a Monday...

     Amazingly, the funniest thing I've read in a long while comes from my March, 2014 issue of Outdoor Life.  In the "Monkey Business" section (a monthly feature, providing "Good, bad and weird news from the outdoors that you might've missed")  There's the story of a guy walking into a liquor store, trying to trade a live alligator for a 12 pack of beer.  He was, obviously, arrested, and made the rest of us who have an affinity for brewed beverages feel much better about ourselves.   "At least I've never tried to trade an alligator for beer!"  It reminds me of the funny pic (or meme or whatever you call these things that float around the internet) of Johnny Cash sitting in some shrubbery eating cake.  It says something to the effect of "You've been high, but you've never been 'Johnny Cash sitting in a bush eating cake' high."  So, thankfully, the Good Lord puts people on earth that make us feel better about our own existence.  A lot of them are frequently found in Wal-Marts and Waffle Houses. (aaaaaaaaaaaand now I want a patty melt plate, some Heinz 57, scattered, smothered and covered and peppered.)
     Speaking of funny,  the lady of the house and I had the opportunity to see B.J. Novak at the Atlanta History Center.  He's a writer, actor, director, producer and probably most recognizable for his Emmy-winning work on "The Office."  I've also heard tell that he was in the cast of Quentin Tarantino's "Inglourious Basterds" though I don't know because I'm old and don't see many movies. He was in our hometown to promote his new book "One More Thing - Stories and Other Stories."  We felt right cultured having Friday night dinner there on West Paces Ferry and then going to a book launch affair. (I STRONGLY recommend the "fisherman's stew" at Coast Seafood on W. Paces diagonally across from the History Center.  When my bride read the description of it on the menu she said "Oh, that's got 'YOU' written all over it...")    Anyway, Mr. Novak was FUNNY.  The first inclusion in his new book is a very comical depiction of what would happen if  "The Tortoise and The Hare" had a rematch.  I've read it three times since we got home  (a copy of the book was included in the price of our ticket.)   It's funny to read - but it was hilarious when Mr. Novak provided his reading of that chapter.  Just, DANG!   I work hard on my written word and my creativity but when you're exposed to some folks you realize that you're a pinch-hitter in single A ball and some folks are batting lead-off for the Yankees. 
     And, while we're on the subject of that night and my bride, the evening was an anniversary celebration.  Seventeen years ago she took on the monumental task of spending the rest of her life with this loose cannon.  Through the miracle of social media (Lordy, I HATE using such trendy terms!) I've reconnected with a lot of people who have roots in the same ground as mine.  And I know that some of those people are thinking "Holy crap! HE found someone to marry??!!"  Trust me, I think the same thing.  In one of my earlier blogs, I mentioned the moment  at the funeral home when I overheard her whispering to the woman that raised me (who was wearing the same dress she'd worn on my wedding day and was "laid out for burial" as the old folks used to say)  "Don't worry, Erfy....I'll always take care of Tim."  If she can hear me, I'd like to reassure my saint of a mother that her daughter-in-law is  living up to that promise.  From the countless "I can tell you're worried - what's wrong?" moments to the "I bought you some more Sweetwaters but I didn't know you still had some in the fridge- don't drink them all just because they're there!" moments she is, most definitely, taking good care of me.  Life often gets in the way of our free time together.  So - as sappy as it sounds - Edwin McCain says it all better than I ever could.  Happy Anniversary and, truly, "everything you are, is everything to me..."

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