In 20 short minutes I did all the weedeating, edging and grass-cutting in the backyard. Just last summer I did one half of the yard....rested an hour.....did the other half. Now I knock it out in 20 minutes on an 80-something degree day, didn't work up much of a sweat and got back to my IBM work. Unbelievable.
This feat comes at an interesting time. One night this week I was down in the mouth about something and my bride says " YOU'RE the ONLY one who isn't celebrating the drastic changes in your life! Everyone else that knows you is amazed at how - in just a few short months - you've become a different person! Please celebrate it with the rest of us!!!!!!!!" Dammit....I hate it when she's right. It's just that I'm so good at bemoaning my shortcomings rather than celebrating my accomplishments. I'm the Michael Jordan of self-deprecation. And in this one area (my weight) where there's been a literal lifetime of disappointments, starts and stops, setbacks and general sadness it's hard to actually believe what I'm seeing. They told me before hand that, after this surgery, my body would change quicker than my mind. How right they were.
I've mentioned many times the "I'm in a house that's on fire" feeling I live with now. After being virtually DEAD for so many years I feel like every single day is an opportunity to make up for lost time. If I don't cram as much into a day as I can possibly can, I've wasted it. When Rhonda gets home from work I immediately give her the run-down: "I watered the grass, cut the backyard, filled the bird feeders, washed a load of clothes, did the dishes, got out three planning sheets (IBM work) pulled weeds out of the tomato plants..." I feel restless most of the time. Once again, she proves to be the voice of reason "I'm grateful you feel so much better and can do more things...but there's still just 24 hours in a day and getting some rest isn't a sin." I'm doing my best to also keep her parents yard up to snuff (and they've got a LOT of yard.) Every time she talks to her parents they express how worried they are about me. Nothing new...I'm sure the poor health I was in worried everyone who knew me. Now they're worried for a completely different reason - they think I've taken on too much this summer. Two jobs and two yards. My mind's first reaction is to be offended. "They think I can't do it." Obviously, like I said, they're just worried about me. But I don't want people worrying about me anymore. That went on for long enough. I now YEARN for folks' approval and want to be a help rather than a hindrance. To go out into public with me was a hindrance for too many years. "Too much walking?" "A place for Tim to sit?" "Will there be kids there who will laugh at Tim and hurt his feelings?" Now I want people to enjoy being around me. So, yeah...I put a little more pressure on every minute and every outing and consequently every person around me.
I think the preceding is what's known as a 'rant.' Forgive me...apparently there were some things in my mind that I needed to get out.