Burgers...

If the food gods called me to Mount Gluttony and said "for today, you can have anything you want to eat and we'll remove the calories, fat grams, carbs and everything else that makes food taste good..." you know what I'd choose? Easy - I'd fire up the grill and throw down a burger of Biblical proportions. Yep, a medium rare burger with grilled onions, jalapenos, mayo and heinz 57 would make me very happy! I think burgers are the one thing that I'm actually missing. They're the one thing that I've seen other people eating and thought "I want that...badly." Yes, there's veggie burgers. But veggie burgers are to burgers what George Bush is to world leaders...flat..blah...unable to make a complete sentence. Yep, a burger and a cold adult beverage would be a good thing. But you know what? I can wait. I can wait 6 months on a burger. Doing without one for 6 months is a small, small price to pay for all the good that's happening to me right now. Truth be told, if a huge burger was put in front of me right now, a bite or two would be all I could handle. And I'd definitely have to deconstruct the thing. Big bites of food aren't happening right now. If I take too big a bite it's painful and seems to get stuck about where my sternum is located. An adult beverage, on the other hand, would go down pretty smoothly I'm thinking! It just occurred to me - I might be the problem with the economy! The food and liquor industry has taken a HUGE hit because of my new lifestyle and it's rippled through the entire economy! Blame me for your 401k tanking!